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How do you spend one on one time with your kids?

My husband and I have four children, each two years apart. Spending one on one time with each of the can be challenging because they each want our attention all of the time. I was talking about this with my great friend, Kristy, and she told me a wonderful idea that we have since adopted and we now use every month:

Every month on our child’s ‘birthdate”, they get to have “their night” (example: our first son was born on August 29th, so every month on the 29th is his night. Our second son was born on April 18th, so the 18th of every month is his night).

On their night, they get to stay up about 20-30 minutes extra and can pick to do whatever they want with us, but it can not be watching TV or playing on the computer (no electronics). We can play a board game, read a book, go on a walk, help my husband change the oil in his car, help Mommy make cookies. All of this is time that is focused on this ONE child.

When we are finished and it is time for them to go to bed, we have them sit with us. We tell them two specific things (two from each of us) that we love about them (example: “I love how you are so funny and smile all of the time! I love how you are so sweet to your baby sister and make her laugh when she starts to cry”)

Afterwards, my husband and I hold our child’s hands and we say a pray for them, out loud for them to hear… “Thank you, God, for _____. Please watch over him and take care of him tonight and tomorrow. Let him have a wonderful day at school tomorrow! Let him know how much you love him and let him share your love with others through his great smile and nice words.” We each take a turn doing this and we ask him to say his own prayer at the end.

Now, I won’t say that our other kid’s aren’t jealous of the “birthday” child during this time… they are! To resolve this, we let our other kids read books in their beds (quietly) until the other ones are going to bed. Since it is only about 20 minutes that they are staying up, its not a big deal. They get to stay up late, too, so they are happy. (Our kids go to bed early, anyways… read this post to see our daily schedule )

To make sure that I remember to do this, I have a monthly reminder set in my phone, so every 29th, it goes off at 5:00pm to say “Jack stays up”. It does this with every child. I also write it big on our calendar so that they can see it & be excited themselves!

Grandparents can do this, too. My parents often take our kids for a “special day.” They go out to lunch and usually head to my parent’s house to throw rocks in the lake or feed the ducks. Our kids literally talk about their “special day” for weeks afterwards & love it! Now that our older boys are old enough, they have sleep-overs at their house, too, and they think this just the best! Our in-laws live far away, but our kids have stayed with them (without us) for little vacations and love this, as well.

Any time that you can give a child your undivided attention, you are making a lasting impression in their hearts. A memory to last a lifetime…

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